by simon baird

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

stable table?

not for my dinner, for my computer

Feist on Colbert

lots of love in the room...  :)
check it out...

Monday, April 28, 2008

video game trivia thanks to good game

the creators of the GTA series also made lemmings.

delayed liveblog of the australian big brother 2008 season premier

no gretel. three cheers for that.

jackie and kyle are doing pretty good so far.

fake animals? good idea the animals were pretty boring anyway.

the pauline hanson woman. groan.

i couldn't  find rice so I'm eating curry with spaghetti. surprisingly good.

aw, she loves her grandson..

the alien guy. well stephen hawking and him are in agreement.

mmm, pataks simmer sauce, butter chicken. microwave poppadums. a little yoghurt.

woah I just noticed the mullet. does that count as a mullet? no it's more of a rats tail.

"i reckon we can have some [champas]".

"gots some tatts goin there.." lolz. warming to terri.

meal conveyor and no kitchen?

one bed? hurm.

boob girl? I call her eyebrows girl. tweezers. stat.

saxon doing roger rabbit eyes

speaking of tweezers, that guy on the townsville news headlines. blimey. he looks like teen wolf.

the japanese australian poker player. nobby. I like him already.

he has a blanky? er...

bimbo girl 1. (I'm presuming there will be more). aw, she's nervous

nobby translating saxon's kanji tattoo. on his neck. it was supposed to be star warrior. it's star dirt. "it was an asian guy that did it". "he fucked it up". brilliant!!

ok my lap is getting very warm. the sacrifices. can anyone recommend a lap thingy. hang on I need a stable table don't I.

snap eviction? stupid.

"have you got a shorter dress?" - terri to bridgette

the vet woman. why are they calling her doctor? ... of vet science? she seems pretty cool. might be the smartest one so far.

what the... he talks like dame edna?

can I just mention again how glad I am that gretel is gone. thank you channel ten. but why did you wait so long?

vet girl looks just a little bit like nina from then cardigans.

good looking guy.

sport meat worker girl.  "by the time it gets to me it's just a carcass"

she says "me" instead of my. "it's me towel. and frogs are me favourite animal". actually so does the last guy. they should understand each other.

honey bbq glaze twister? hmm

JCU ad. I remember that name from somewhere. JCU... no, can't place it. I think the ad breaks are getting longer. starting to wonder what's on the other channel.

might have been mistaken about vet girl being smart.

the midget belly dancer. she's so little! and her voice is slightly lower than voice guy. she's hugging her husband. i am trying to not saying anything politically incorrect.

mikey, bree, fitzy, aw, we missed you guys.

omg, terri is asking if whether hobbit girl can use a human sized toilet!!

"are you allowed to drink?" - terri to belly dancer.

let me explain something. she is not like a regular dwarf. her limbs are perfectly in proportion.

ad break analysis from guest blogger: the housemates are all a bit team zissou. this is good. possible gaydar ping on the vet. everyone loves terri.

the smart kid? claims he will keep his shirt on.

country girl (and token indigenous person, can I say that?). she wants us to know she puts tomato sauce on her lettuce. she seems nice. oh, she knows sporty spice, they're from the same town or something.

let's channel surf: SBS: South Park (quick boys how does the imagination song go?). Later, Drawn together.

bimbo 2. let's call her the brunette bimbo. oh she's a lingerie barmaid. classy. second biggest boobs in the house? obsessive clean freak.

okay, he escaped from a cult at 19. that's different. his family is still in the cult. they don't have television. also he's an ex cop and a hot fireman.

"if you hear a voice in the house, that's not god. that's big brother" - kyle.

that jcu girl in the ad is cute..

travis must have been bullied a lot at school.

big brother says they're sleeping outside until they decide someone to leave the house.

but can they stay in the yard indefinitely? rory asks this question.

rory wants to forget about the eviction for a while and mingle. liking rory.

okay it's over. my battery is getting low.

summary: pretty good so far. i kind of like all of them. I don't care for the immediate eviction. what's the point? really liking kyle and jackie.

argh. good news week. they still making that?

ahah, good game is on. (refer to previous blog posts). lets check their wardrobe... same shirts.

they've tried rock band. they say it's pretty good.

okay, if there's anyone still reading this, post your top three predictions in the comments.

townsville music dot com

sourmash sent me the link to this:
seems cool. nice work whoever set that up. hope it will flourish and prosper. i snagged the userid simon so bad luck all you other simons out there. ps, can anyone tell me the name of the performer who played one set in between the main act at mARTa's last week? she played a classical guitar and sang. (I should post that on the forum shouldn't I).

Sunday, April 27, 2008

GTA IV hype

(see here)

Official Xbox Magazine UK
It's got a world you believe in, a cast you care about and a script stuffed with brilliant moments... Utterly stunning in every resepct. [May 2008, p.79]

I could go on and on about why Grand Theft Auto IV is one of the best games we've ever seen and why even folks who are easily offended should play it, but that would be pointless. The only thing you need to know is that you have to play this game. Period.

Expectations were so high for Grand Theft Auto IV that one of the biggest surprises is that it's managed to meet them. That it's also gone on to confound these is truly a marvel, and the game's Liberty City is nothing less than one of the greatest videogame worlds yet conceived.

Xbox World 360 Magazine UK
Rockstar have surpassed themselves, delivering unquestionably the definitive GTA and perhaps the greatest videogame of all time. [June 2008]

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Dance your cares away (clap clap)

I have 22 episodes of fraggle rock

Chinchy tonight

I've been told that my letter to the kind folks at Good Game was a little harsh

Let me make amends. Good Game is a great new video game show on ABC2. The hosts are smart and do a pretty good job of reviewing games. The show is 1000 better than XPlay (which makes me want to barf). The hosts are Bajo and Junglist and they're pretty geeky (in a good way), for instance they gave Ikaruga and some retro Castlevania remake like 8.5 out of 10 or something. (Don't try buying those for your aunty who just bought a Wii to play Wii bowling). So check it out if you like video games. It's on Monday at 9pm on ABC2 and late Friday night on ABC1. Also you can watch it online. So anyway, I like the show and really wanted to help make it better. The shirts look pretty bad, don't you think? Lots of love, Simon. Okay, I just learned that in fact the show has been on since 2006. So actually they've spent a couple of years fine tuning the hosts' wardrobe I guess... Never mind.

Friday, April 25, 2008

ryan adams' blog

who knew ryan adams is a blogging maniac. (tumblr style)

eternal sunshine...

i just watched it. for second time. it's good. here's a little beck:


she's brilliant...
testing water: trying the iphone: discussing her nails and bagging mac users:

twitter funny :)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

jumpin jack crackers look at the lineup for splendour in the grass

Devo, Wolfmother, Sigur Ros, The Living End, The Presets, Tricky, Vampire Weekend, Ben Lee, Cold War Kids, The Fratellis, The Wombats, Pnau, Laura Marling, The Vines, The Grates, Operator Please, Band of Horses, Van She, The Panics, Gyroscope, Mstrkrft, Lightspeed Champion, The Brown Birds from Windy Hill, Scribe, The Music, The Gin Club

ok sorry last one

iphone piano
iphone guitar (but with strummed chords)

no. stairway. to. heaven
even on your ipod/iphone

i forgot to mention that you can load your own samples

eg, this guy (on youtube)
try doing that on your blackberry.

my ipod is now a drum machine

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

youngme nowme

trying to help...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Good Game <>
Date: Tue, Apr 22, 2008 at 6:51 PM
Subject: Re: Good Game Email Form
To: ABC Web-Mail Form <>

ABC Web-Mail Form wrote:
Below is the result of your feedback form.  It was submitted by
 ( on Monday, April 21, 2008 at 22:01:08

name: Simon

phone: 04xxxxxxxx

comments: hey guys, I'm enjoying the show but I have some advice. get some new shirts. it's not the logo that's bad but the shirt colour. pretty much any colour other than khaki/brown (?) would look a lot better on the tv. seriously.  for that matter do you really have to wear the t-shirt? why not show some personality and wear a different t shirt each episode. you are tv stars now, lets dress like you're in front of the camera, not behind it. you don't see kevin pereira wearing the same shirt every day, right?


It's a work in progress ...   just got to choose the right colour ...    but thanks for the advice.


Janet Carr
Series Producer - Good Game - ABC2
Australian Broadcasting Corporation


groovin the moo

I got my tickets for groovin the moo. Maitland's biggest music festival comes to Townsville. Or something like that?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

that photo you get with the ghosts download from nine inch nails that's mostly water

I like it. download ghosts

heartwarming tales... #3

well the picture tells the story really. this is at the ferny grove station about 25 minutes after tale #2. it's the end of the line so as we walked north up the platform we met the driver. mr five honked the horn. which was loud enough to make us all jump. notice the previously featured party hat. now just in case you're wondering... the round black knob in the foreground is the brake, the lever on the right with the black t-bar and the steel shaft is the accelerator, and I think that's the horn he's pointing to in the middle.

Friday, April 18, 2008

cool, I'm in a band

well a backing band you might call it. for singer/songwriter carita. plus dave on drums and me. she's great. style sort of like missy higgins. plus there was dinner and wine! I have some songs to learn.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

get well soon kimya dawson's mum

Have you ever had a dream
That your favorite baby's drowning
And you grab him by his sweater sleeve and pull him up on to the ground and
You can hear the water slosh around inside his tiny gut
Push his belly up and down but he can't cough the water up
Suddenly a flood comes out his mouth till there is nothing left inside of him
He's empty now
There isn't even one small breath
And he goes limp in your arms
All the people's mouths are moving
All you hear are car alarms
And you wake up and start to cry
I will lose my shit if even one more person I know dies
So please don't die

My mom's sick she's in a hospital bed
I've got a word for all you ghosts in her head
And all you skeletons in her closet
Leave her alone
Leave her alone
Leave her alone, please
Because my mom needs you gone
My mom needs you gone
As long as she is haunted she'll never get strong
My mom needs you gone

You traded all your paper clips for a soap dish that way
Your best friend's rubber ducky wouldn't slip and slide away
But he traded his rubber duck for a cigar box to place your paper clips in
Mr. Hooper came to say
"oh my dear friends Bert and Ernie
Here's a little something for each of you from me
Here are your paper clips and here's your rubber ducky
How could I ignore such selfless generosity?"

Monday, April 14, 2008

surprisingly good straight-to-video movies I have seen recently which happen to all star dax shepard

In the order that I watched them: Dax Shepard is a highlight in all of these movies. I'd never heard of him prior to a few weeks ago.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

i got tickets to see kimya dawson

yay. see here

heartwarming tales of the great southeast #2

Milly and I decided to take the two kids home on the train. It's about 8:35pm. There's room for them in the car but we figure they might enjoy the trip. As we're arriving at Central Station we notice on the TV screens that our train is red and flashing, ie it's leaving now. It's a 25 minute wait until the next train. Oh well, I thought. We move through the turnstiles, locate our platform and head down the escalators. I'm walking with Mr Five and about half an escalator behind Milly and Mr Four. Mr Five wants to catch up but I say, 'no running on the escalator'. Then I realise that the train actually hasn't left yet. Milly and Mr Four are hesitating at the train door -- apparently they've received a gesture from someone that it's too late to get on. I pick up Mr Five around the arm pits and hustle down the last bit of the escalator. By the time I get to the train, we get some 'come on' guestures from staff on the train and all four of us scoot through the doors together and sit down. At this time Mr Five looks at me sadly and says 'but what about my hat?'. It's a sparkly party tiara that he's been wearing since Ms One's birthday dinner at a Korean restaurant in the city. Somewhere between the escalator and the train it's fallen off his head. I'm about to say, 'look mate, I'm sorry, your hat is gone', when a railway staff member on the platform steps through the door and hands him the hat. She's noticed what happened and picked it up off the platform for him. His sad face lifts and he says thank you. We thank everyone and the doors close and the train departs.

Takashi Murakami

Just saw a show about him. It's interesting. He's big in art right now apparently. To paraphrase the show, he's pushing pop art harder than it's been pushed before, while at the same time saying something important about deep flaws in Japanese culture. The narrator had a skeptical tone. Takashi Murakami

Ps, he looks a little bit like Uncle Taku don't you think?

heartwarming tales of the great south east #1

I'm driving across Brisbane with Milly. I'm following the car ahead of me since it has the sat nav and I'm from Townsville and don't know my way anywhere. The car ahead goes through a pretty stale orange light. Not wanting to get separated, I swear, accelerate and make it thought just after it changes to red. About thirty seconds later a police car appears in my rear view mirror and flashes his lights. Perhaps he buzzed his buzzer, I can't remember. I find a place to pull over, and mentally prepare to get slugged with a $150 fine and three points (or whatever it is). The cop comes over and introduces himself. I apologise and explain the situation. Milly mentions we're just little 'ol Townsvillers visiting the big smoke (not in those words exactly). The cop says, oh yeah, that happens to me all the time, don't worry about it, have a nice day. We drive off smiling and feeling a lot of warmth towards the South East Queensland Police Force. We find our lead car who'd pulled off onto a side street to wait.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Adventures of While

This post was co-written by myself and my friend Thomas (aged 5 at time of writing). It contains an outline for a screenplay starring While, a small blue whale. I include a picture of While himself.

DShrike and PChii do Japan

check out the horse guy

while I'm throwing out not-your-average-blog recommendations:

should I get lasik?

  • no more glasses
  • no more scratched/dirty lenses
  • can buy non-dorky sunnies
  • can better see partner during sex
  • non-blurry peripheral vision
  • can use binoculars and telescopes more easily
  • can see while swimming
  • can go snorkeling or diving with better vision
  • $8000 ($4000 per eye) could well be spent on overseas travel or new car
  • will be able to tell when the shower needs cleaning
  • can better see self during sex
  • risk of botched operation
  • risk of problems after successful operation (google it)
  • some days (or weeks?) of post-op recuperation needed

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

wii wee game
look I don't know if it's an april fools joke or not. but enjoy it regardless.