by simon baird

Thursday, April 22, 2010

standup routine (in the style of demetri martin)

so you know how sometimes when someone dies they say "he died doing what he loved", like that should make you feel better for some reason. maybe it does. but i don't know if it's always true to say that.

think about a surfer who was eaten by a shark. sure he liked surfing. he was surfing before he died. but he died from being bitten in half. i don't think he loved that part. (it's unlikely).

or think about a skydiver. what he loves is falling for a bit, then coming down gently under his chute. he probably didn't love the part where he died, you know, hitting the ground at terminal velocity... (screaming... trying to untangle his cords...)

of course sometimes it is right to say that, to say 'he died doing what he loved'. suppose the guy loved shooting up smack... or, say, playing russian roulette.. in those cases, sure...

(i wrote this last night at about 1am. actually i think it worked because i went straight to sleep afterwards)

(demetri, you can totally use this if you like it)


Mad Cat Lady said...


Green Apple Cat said...

finally saw a bit of the demetri show. As you say, a bit hit and miss. You should write for him so there's more hit than miss. :)

simon said...

i have a disc for you if you like it

simon said...