by simon baird

Thursday, November 30, 2006

King Arthur

This movie happened to be starting on Movie One last night just as we arrived home. Yadda yadda, here's my review:
  • Premise: This is the true story of the dudes who's tales were told and exaggerated to become the Tales of King Arthur. Arthur and his knights are under Roman command. They generally don't get on with the natives who refuse Rome's command. The Saxons are coming and the Roman Empire is not as mighty and good as it once was.
  • Keira's accent: Why did Keira not have some kind of Woad accent? I don't care what it sounded like just please not her posh tea and scones english voice from Bend It Like Beckham.
  • The Saxons: At least you know where you stand. You and your family will be put to death and your village will be burned. But you probably won't be raped. They have standards.
  • The cracking ice scene. Seems a bit unlikely. Plus the cracking seemed to go on way too long.
  • Keira shooting arrows in blue paint and a leather boob-tube: Thumbs up.
  • Clive Owen's range of vocal and facial expression: Thumbs down. Seriously, he is the English David Duchovney.
  • Romans: Boo
  • Woads: Yay
  • Merlin: Yay
  • Saxons: Yargh
  • Unrealistic lighting of outdoor scenes: Huh? The Saxons had a green spotlight in their camp apparently.
  • Lame dialog in romantic scenes: Boo
  • That aussie guy from that show with a beard: Yay
  • The knights: Cool as shit
  • The story: It kept me well interested even though it was on late and I was pretty tired. Thumbs up.
  • Enya rating: not enough Enya! The one time you actually want a bit of Enya...
  • Magic rating: Actually there is no magic or fairies or anything like that, which is a bit different for a King Arthur movie.


Anonymous said...

Wasn't Enya who made the theme song.
It was moya Brennan.

simon said...

Yeah I knew it wasn't Enya. Ever since LA Story (possibly the first?) I've thought that putting in a bit Enya to enhance your audiences emotional response a bit cheezy, bordering on cliche. But this movie it would have been a perfect choice. :) Stirring movie music I approve of: Staralflur and the leopard shark, Mad World and Donny Darko (it's cliche now but at the time...)